session 26: The Boot of Kord

"Here's a note I took off a Vrock I slew" said Zandalf, unrolling a parchment on the bar. "Not a bad likeness."

"We were headed back to the old Dwarven ruins to see what further treasures we might find when we came to a bridge.  'HOLD,' I said, 'EVIL IS AFOOT'.  Probably saved a few lives right there did old Zandalf the Herald.  No sooner had I spoken than did this foul creature fly up from the chasm.  A demon rising from the depths!"  Zandalf glanced over at the barmaid.  "How'd you like to see my demon rise?  eh?  EH?" Getting no interest he went on.  "Anyway, under my orders we spread out in attack formation and began peppering the the beast with ranged attacks.  It shrugged most of them off with little damage, but seemed susceptible to Leena's fire bolt.  I had everyone back away from the edge to lure it into hand to hand range.  When it came in to bite and claw at us we fell upon it with axe and sword.  It was a hard fought battle but in the end it couldn't hope to stand before my might.  It did a bit of damage to some of the others with its shrieks and spores but Zandalf the Hardy was still ready for action.  I'm always ready, you know what I'm saying?"

"We headed back to our campsite outside the dwarven ruins and some of the lesser members of the party nursed their wounds for a time before we went back in.  Once everyone was done being a baby we returned to the large door on the second level that the others had failed to open previously.  This time, though, I took a greater part in the proceedings and under my expert guidance Amos was able to pick the lock.  Beyond the door, stairs descended to a small chamber with 3 statues of dwarfs holding axes.  Seeing gouges on the ground in front of the 2 obvious exits I sensed a trap and set the team to searching the room.  Zandalf's first option is ALWAYS the backdoor, you know what I mean?  Zandalf the Probing!  Sure enough, behind one of the statues we found a secret door, and used that to exit the room." 

"The door opened into a large throne room, occupied by three duergar who rudely threatened us.  No sooner do we step into the room than these guys turn invisible and charge at us.  One by one they pop back into existence as they chuck javelins.  Vanekas turns into a big ass spider and scuttles up a pillar, shooting a web like 30 feet onto the guy closest to us.  Let me know if you want to stage a reenactment in my room later, heheh.  So anyway, the fellas just walk up and hack this trapped dwarf to death, which he had coming.  The other two didn't fare much better, trying to hide behind pillars.  Gimmelstob and Dis just started walking up and chopping away.  Amos is sneaking around shooting guys and Vanekas actually bit one."

"Once those three were dealt with we decided to head south where we could hear a loud, rhythmic clanging.  We open these big double doors and there's 3 more of these mean little guys across a river looking like they're making a sword or something.  Figuring these guys are as shitty as the ones we just handled we decide to just open fire on them unannounced.  We peppered one guy but he didn't go down.  Maybe if we'd bought him dinner first, eh?  Hehe.  So 2 of the guys turn invisible again and you can hear them coming across the bridges.  The other guy starts slinging spells at us, 'shatter' and the like.  Gimmelstob charges across the bridge and goes after the wizard with Vanekas who is creeping across the ceiling.  Dis, Amos and Leena stay on the near side of the river and soon enough the 2 missing duergar show up and start going after Leena.  Amos and Leena are concentrating on this one guy and Dis turns to the guy standing on the bridge and just plants the boot of Kord right in his chest, sends him into the river and over the falls to his doom.  The two remaining guys didn't last long, unlike me, Zandalf the Vigorous.  I couldn't tell, but I think Vanekas was biting this guy too.  Real oral fixation, that guy."

"After sorting out those last duergar we searched the room and found some more treasure hidden in an old furnace.  There were a couple storerooms to the south but didn't seem to be anything going on there.  To the east was a big waterfall, the one the duergar went over.  There's a bit of a ledge that goes along the northern wall of the pit and you can just make out a ladder over there, going down to who knows where.  Still plenty of doors still to open on this level before we go further down."

Session 25 (Main): Norik's Skull

Our heroes descended into the ominous Temple of Myrkul, Pog barring the double-doors behind them.  The team edged forward slowly, checking for traps and waiting for Blumpkin to catch up. 

At the end of a long hallway, they discovered a huge skull stained with a bloody handprint.  Its eye sockets contained precious gems, the sight of which filled Silde with glee.  Choosing caution over avarice, the team opted to leave the gems be and followed a bloody trail of footprints heading east.

They came upon another hallway to the north with 5 doors.  Our heroes formed up in battle stances as each door was opened, finding nothing but a set of bedrooms with rugs that really tied each room together man.  Signs of fighting marked each of the bedrooms.  Silde abruptly checked his timepiece, declaring it was "naptime" and slinking off to one of the bedrooms.  The fifth and final door remained; an ominous pool of blood marking its threshold.

As the team opened the door it was greeted by a slumped figure in full armor with shield and covered with grievous cranial wounds.  Suddenly the creature stirred, asking the party if they were sent by Arlew.  Pog replied in the affirmative, and for a brief moment the team thought it had an ally in its quest to clear the temple.  That was until Norik moaned "Braaaaains...", clearly ignoring Blumpkin but staring greedily at the rest of the party.

Eschewing his cowardly ways, Velocitor charged headfirst at the evil foe.  Norik moved with blinding speed, however, and reached out to blast Velocitor with a withering strike of necrotic damage.  Velocitor, unaccustomed to the rigors of melee combat, went flying into a nearby wall and slumped down unconscious.  One by one, our heroes streamed into the room to enter the fray, each time surprised by the speed of Norik's reactions.  Pog also fell victim to a withering strike, though his hardy Barbarian shirtlessness allowed him to largely shrug off the damage.

As the team assailed Norik from all sides, they discovered him to be quite an implacable enemy.  Attacks bounced off his armor and shield, and attempts to blast him with spells were ignored.  The only hero able to consistently damage Norik seemed to be Blumpkin, peppering the zombie with a barrage of arrows.  Eventually, the team was able to collectively wear down their enemy until he fell for the last time.  Blumpkin gently cradled the defeated zombie's skull in his hands and pronounced, "Alas, poor Norik! I knew him, Typhus, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!"  Then Blumpkin began softly sobbing while Merkin ground Norik's skull into dust.  The party discovered a magical necklace, a stone of opening, and a shield emblazoned with the symbol of Myrkul which Stevil quickly modified with chalk to showcase the mightier and superior god Kord.

The party headed west back through the trail of blood.  An ominous, periodic thudding could be heard coming from the barred entrance, which the team surmised was due to someone's attempts to ram through the double doors.  Merkin judged that the party still had a few hours before the doors were breached so they continued west toward the "lab" which would have more accurately been described as a slaughterhouse.  Mangled body parts lay strewn across multiple examination tables along with journals describing the sickening experiments of Myrkul's disciples.  One of the experiments lay encased in a glass cylinder in the northwest corner:  an ectoplasmic ooze designed to absorb negative energy.  As the party continued their search they unlocked a cabinet that contained a mysterious tarp-covered object.  Pog wisely decided to remove the tarp from a distance... but it was not far enough.  Every party member lay in the blast radius of a psychic assault by none other than Charlton Heston's brain in a jar!  Pog began wailing about his second amendment rights... Velocitor rummaged through the room looking for soylent green... Merkin decried his medieval weaponry, longing for an AR-15... Blumpkin was largely unaffected.  Before he had a chance to act, Stevil was mentally commanded to flee toward the barred door.  Only Typhus had the wits required to take decisive action!  Typhus... our hero of the moment!  Typhus... the champion of champions!  Typhus... our fate is in your hands!  Typhus cast a phantasmal illusion... at a being with no eyes.



Luckily, the party quickly recovered from their psychic damage to make short work of Ben-Hur's brain.  They searched through the adjoining room without finding anything of interest other than more body parts.

It was time to face down their true enemy.  The party veered north into the bowels of the temple but before they could proceed they were presented with a challenge.  The floor was littered with runes and ominous, scythe-wielding statues on both sides.  Everyone recognized the runes as matching those in the stone of opening.  Typhus bravely volunteered to be the first to attempt a sequence.  After safely passing through the first set of runes he was suddenly zapped with glowing fire beams from the eye sockets of the statues.  Undaunted, he attempted another sequence with similar results.  After some debate, Blumpkin was voluntold as the next hero to venture forth on the tiles.  He attempted a slightly different sequence and, alas, was also burned.  A disembodied, somewhat staccato voice was heard by the party members echoing in the chamber, reminding them of a hint given by Arlew.  Using a numbered sequence provided in Arlew's clue, Blumpkin and Typhus were able to safely pass through the tiles with no further damage.  The party followed, steeling themselves to confront the evil that awaited them in the next chamber...